clay's online journal

Entries for October, 2006

October 1st, 2006

refreshing sunday

dunno how best describe the feelings inside. Absolutely thankful for all that have took place. Was able to catch up some sleep last nite and this afternoon. And finally made it for a jog....nice weather and the aloneness that i enjoy...hahaha....was able to spend time reflecting on what had happened and wat's going on inside me. My fears of failure and ......able to commit everything into God's hands...the loving and gentle hands...indeed also strong ones.

still feeling weak for the sickness....but inside me, my spiriti is on the positive side...no more negative and downcast

absolutely enjoying the children. what's better medicine than them?

Posted by clay at 07:53 PM | Add a mold

October 5th, 2006

perversion?

Two weeks ago somebody mentioned about angels in class. So i responded jokingly, said: "Charlie's Angels". I got a very quick response from one of the children...."it's pervert!"

Wanted to say back to him...."i watched and to me seems ok"....till i think again about it....and perhaps he's more right than i am.

When God created us, He imparted in us at least the values of righteousness, justice, kindness, and purity. Children is very sensitive for justice, equality, love, and not least purity. They can smell hipocrisy, they can see through fake love, they can feel jealousy, and they can react to impurity.

It's perhaps when we grow older...those values were being undermined and suppressed...that we're no longer sensitive when they're snatched or became polutted. The facts that we have ratings for movies, perhaps jsut to show more of our sinfullness.....for surely it has violeted the sense of purity and righteousness for children. What we declare loudly as consummtion of mature people, perhaps in fact a cover up of our indulgence in sinful nature....being fed day after day such that it lost the apetite of purity.

So his remark left me with question over myself. Have i became no longer sensitive to the mark of purity? Have i became so polluted with what i see and read everyday throughout all these 20 over years? Have i lost direction and taste of what is pure and pervert?

Maybe the answer is a sound YES.

Posted by clay at 09:31 AM | 5 see moldings

October 29th, 2006

blogging again

i've missed many days not updating this blog.

part of it was intentional...that i was getting myself into right perspective

about the coming weeks, they're quite scarry...

i've a lot letters to read, matters to attend,

plans to be executed, and lessons to be planned,

my health and concentration is no longer as fit as the younger days :{

anyway, will get blogging again soon

Posted by clay at 11:01 PM | Add a mold

October 31st, 2006

What are you doing, my son?

This morning was reading from Proverbs 31 : 1,

I don't really know how to answer that question.

There're times i still think of her...yah...

i wonder how i can go on from here ...

if this thought would be part of me ...

am i dealing it wisely?

probably till i've better counsel, will stick to this ...

let the past remain in me ...

let me be a fool at certain times like this

and hope one day this will gone

what am i doing? There're many ... justice, mercy, and righteousness

Posted by clay at 04:33 PM | Add a mold

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