My First entry in 2007

It's bit late in Singapore standard ... but who cares

Went back for 2 weeks, starting from 23 Dec - 7 Jan. Enjoyed almost everything...hehe....  The food was really superb...Now there're so many new restaurants and discounts hehe...

Perhaps 1 memorable sharing from this trip. Something that unexpected. On the night i arrived, i called my good friend and was told to watch Indonesian drama.....Hahaha.......Coz he insisted that it's good so i decided to watch (first time perhaps since i don't really like watching, furthermore indonesian product)

So yah...i started to watch Buku Harian Nayla (Nayla's Diary).  It turned out to be something good and meaningful (in my standard). Through it...i'm reminded again about the shortness of one's life. Life is short. Perhaps that's a clear message after watching the drama. A young, lovely, and good girl is diagnosed with a terminal illness. At the peak of life... death is a cruel reality of life.

Another side, is love is stronger than death. Despite the bleakness and fatality of death that rob the joy of living, there's love that shines even brighter in those trying days. I guess that's something that makes the drama memorable to me. I could completely identify with the characters. The protective parents, the pessimists parents, the melancholy of life....yet as each episodes bring forth...through the main characters.... the hope of life, the meaning of life, and perseverance .... that though life is short, nevertheless do ur outmost for it's not going to be meaningless, and love that prevails above all circumtances. Love that brings smiles, love that sacrifice, love that hurts, love that perseveres, love that brings laughter, and love fulfilled in marriage....

So yah ... 2007 is really a new year

The shortness of life ...... do ur outmost before u're gone

Love is beautiful .... True love of course

 

Few things I give thanks at the beginning of this year:

1. The end-block sale failed. Perhaps one of great things that i leaped to joy when i heard this. It means we can still stay together here. And it's something i treasure much.

2. The safety journey back to singapore again. After the Adam Air accident and many bad news happened ... i treasured this life more and thank God for still chance to live and work for & with Him.

3. The swimming pool. I can relax and regain back my fresh mind after long day of works.

4. The wonderful housemates. ) Finally 8 of us were together again )

5. The church friends, especially the group i belong to. Tonite was our first meeting. Seeing new people and truly thank God for the open sharing and discussion. May God lead us to love, unity, and servanthood.

 

Perhaps few smaller things which nevertheless beautiful to me:

1. New hair style (so far most said it's good)

2. Meeting up with an old friend

3. Being back to work again and good relationship with my boss

4. Helps around when i need most / helpful people around

Had a study on Luke 9 few days ago, about following Jesus. What does it actually means? From the discussions, people seems agree that there're two levels; first level the one time commitment when we left everything behind ... and second level is the everyday choices that we make.

There's truth in it, because everyone have to come to a decisive moment whether he/she decide to follow Jesus. Like one has to decide to enter through a door, before he/she can walk through the road behind the door.

One thing that came to my mind ... observing from the facts that some actually didn't finish/complete the road. After they walking on that road of following Jesus...some decided to leave that road completely. It's not the road they wanted to, or had in mind. Some of Jesus' disciples actually left him when what he said was too much for them. And we knew how Judas & Peter failed to follow him.

If that's the case, the following actually an integral thing...both the one time and the everyday. Because the one time dictate the everyday. And unless we persevere on that everyday things ... we'd rather return where we come from.

And this brought back my memory of last month .... when i heard of many bad things ... pastor that turned back, missionary that returned back, ... etc .... What can i say? What do i have to hold on? Continue following? Who am i to have the strength?

I remember, it's the beautiful hands of grace. Apart from it, there's no answer strong enough to grant me peace within. For only the hands of grace able to keep me and save me till the end. It's the hands that brought back Peter after his big failure. So i rest in those hands of grace alone.

This morning i read one of the news, that one of Indonesia famous entertainer (MC) of one popular TV quiz in the past just got married to a new wife.

Reading through the news that seems to be quite a highlight (wedding of such calibre man), they also highlighted the reaction from the ex-wife and the children. One of contempt and disgust, at the same time the pain of the betrayal being displayed and meganize in public (was broadcasted in TV apparently).

My thought wander to the question of what if. What if my dad is still around and see this thing. I'm quite sure he will feel cheated and angry. The man that he regarded as good and phenomenon ... doing the things he hated most, unfaithfulness.

Second thought, again the fear of what may happen to me in future? Will i hold on to what i believe now? Or would i change to another person? Only time will tell that. Indeed, time reveals man's inner character and motives. It's a faithful tester and terrifying judge ....

These few days have been very tiring for me.

Requests from people keep on coming. I'm quite glad that I could meet those needs. At the same time started questioning if i'm living just to please people. Been saved by remembering my promises that i made to different people. Almost scared what happened if i simply forgot something because i've too many things.

Also today, i almost forgotten that i've to help my grandauntie with her computer related problem. I said to her YES yesterday. And this morning i remembered that i need to deliver something to somebody. Even i almost forgotten this point....still thinking to play badminton after work. So last minute, i changed all the plans...cancel the badminton, cancel the delivery, and help my grandauntie. At the end, my granduncle helped me to deliver the thing. I haven't yet completed my preparation for tomorrow leading a Bible Study group.

In the car, this song comforted me. The old hymn: What A Friend We Have in Jesus. A few lines that spoke to me.

What a friend we have in Jesus,
all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear,    
all because we do not carry
everything to God in prayer.

 (Surely with my case...bearing needless pain and forfeiting peace.........) 

Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful
who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
take it to the Lord in prayer.

(It's so true...the feeling of loneliness and weak...it's so beutiful of words and truth....i know not a friend more faithful than Jesus...and that means a lot to me)

Are we weak and heavy laden,
cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In his arms he'll take and shield thee;
thou wilt find a solace there.

(Amen)

Is life precious? Or is it only more precious when we're about to lose it?

This morning we visited few patients in hospital. There're 2 encounters that left an impression on me. The first one with a heavy smoker that for the 3rd time received warning to stop his habit of smoking. He ignored the first 2 warnings....until the last one that he almost his life (game over). Even for such bold and daring person, on the face of death....he knew what's of ultimate value. He chose his life. I hope he will remember that well.

The second one, 8 year old girl that paralyzed on hospital bed. The sickness is quite complicated, that only a miracle could heal her. After we prayed for the girl, we spent some times talking with the father outside. There we heard how he as father struggled. How he broke down in tears when he's lost of what to do to save his daughter. How he tried all he could think of, how he raised his sacrifice from money till house to get all the money to save his daughter. How he prayed for and together with the wife thinking thorough all possible ways. How he's finally here in singapore with the lack of money...solely depending on God's mercy. And i could pray Lord have mercy. For the daughter that should live and enjoy life as happily as a child should be. For the family that have been struggle of the possibilities that their daughter won't be able to survive.

While dying people seems everywhere and helpless children abundant. What's a big deal of another girl losing her life? I kind get the message from the father, life is precious. It means everything. Everything you have, everything you got, everything.

Jesus says: 

For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?

(Mat 16 : 26)

This morning when was walking towards the bus stop (about 1.3 km down the road) 

Can't exactly remember what i sang, roughly went something like this:

This world so beautiful,

I wonder if someone created it.

The green views and wonderful trees

I know someone must have created it

Someone that arranged them as such

And i know there must be God

...

How my soul rejoice before Him

It's in the creation

And now in the salvation

He gave His one and only Son

I extol Thee

The Lord of my salvation

I rejoice, I rejoice, I rejoice

And my feet run to dance

Like the feet of sheep

running through the mountains

following the shepherd

for surely there is abundance

I rejoice ... (Oo)

I rejoice ... (Oo)

I rejoice

)

He's not forever angry, nor he's judging all the times

lest the spirit of men go weary

as number of days you afflicted us

grant us same number days of joys

that my diary speaks both tears and laughters

Woke up earlier this morning, then took the same 1.3 km road again. However this morning the weather isn't shiny, but it's cloudy =)

And here a song that again i couldn't remember the very details (maybe tomorrow i'll bring a recorder):

When i see the clouds in the sky

They gather like a flock of sheeps

How they form such wonderful display

I remember the olden witnesses

Who've run the race of faith

Watching me from above

Surrounding me as witnesses....

 

How long more shall i run?

How far am i still from the end?

Would you kind to tell me?

....... (silent) .......

 

It's not matter the distance

There's a sure end

Fix your eyes unto Jesus

The author and perfector of your faith

See you at the end

And there we rejoice

Forevermore

(Medley)

Ooo by the grace of God,

I am what I am today

And I am not what I am not

By the grace of God

I am what I am today

And I am not what I am not

(Medley)

Seperti yang kuingini - sang by Nikita

Ku telah mati dan tinggalkan

Jalan hidupku yang lama

Semuanya sia2 dan tak berarti lagi

Hidup ini kuletakkan

Pada mezbahMu Ya Tuhan

Jadilah padaku seperti yang Kauingini   (Sorry guyz...no translation yet for this)

 

Today is wonderful. I reached home about 2 pm, then did my laundry, and made appointment. Managed to get an 1.5 hour sleep. Then practiced my violin and got a chance to hold a tennis racket ) Quite fun...imagining if i could play like Roger Federer.

Then went for swimming....practicisng my free-style. Again imagining if i could master all the styles... Really enjoying today. Haven't had this kind of chance for long time. I've been wanting to keep Sunday as my rest day, simply to rest and stop doing. Just being.

In this current age, i feel like we've been so used to with work and efficiency. All our life we simply do and do. Work smarter and work smarter. Be more efficient, solve more things, handle more things, and be more productive. Soon we'll end like machines. As i checked with my roomate, that manufacture works 24/7....non-stop.

So then, a rest, a stop from doing, that makes us human.

Of course a nice dinner is being prepared...and a family to have a warm dinner with adds to the restfulness of today

Let me set to have min. 1/month of rest day.