clay's online journal

Entries for September, 2007

September 6th, 2007

pre-update

Back to the active live again.
Be more serious.
Less playful and wasting of time.
Not easily distracted.
Be more calm and composed.

Posted by clay at 11:30 PM | Add a mold

September 12th, 2007

teary

a short thank u message, and i found tears on my eyes.

may i remember again, the power of those words.

thank u.

Posted by clay at 02:13 PM in Events | Add a mold

September 19th, 2007

on self

Been a long weeks with much seriousness and seldom a smile.
Heard biography of William Cowper, and saw a ray of hope.
First, the life of Cowper was so gloomy and 'boring'....with his severe melancholism......and the major brighter side of his life as many mentioned, due to this man: John Newton with his healthy theology of Grace..

So, perhaps...i need to hangout more with people like John Newton types... And just realized also from a good friend comment...how distressing and árgggh''feeling to befriend a "cowper" ... On another hand, i try to think more like Newton than Cowper.

Another thing which opens my eyes from this man's biography is his masterpieces. The hymns he wrote is magnificent and brilliant. I love his hymns. Who knows if its only those 'kind' people to produce such quality?

Posted by clay at 03:19 PM in Thots | 2 see moldings

September 23rd, 2007

unparallel joy

Or what woman, having ten silver coins, if she loses one coin, does not light a lamp and sweep the house and seek diligently until she finds it? And when she has found it, she calls together her friends and neighbors, saying, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found the coin that I had lost.' Just so, I tell you, there is joy before the angels of God over one sinner who repents." - Luke 15 :8-10

That's my joy beyond words can explain. Have been praying for this little lovely boy, whom I come to know. He comes quite regularly every Sunday, but seems the lesson didn't go in. He's to rush back for tuition before class finish. And his mind seems to be on something else but the lesson.

What a joy when this morning he didn't have to rush for tuition, that he could stay longer after class. What a joy when he listened patiently instead of looking after his friends who're leaving the class. What a joy when he didn't show sign disinterest or giving up with the passage when often times he did. And what a joy it was when he opened the Bible and read it and ... stay there.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. - John 3 : 16 -

My favorite verse
It took a while for him to see ... whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. And the only thing anyone must do to have eternal life and not perish.....is to believe in him (the one and only Son of God, whom God gave out of his love to the world). So there he said he wants to have this eternal life. And there he wanted to believe. There he prayed to God...telling God what's in his heart.

And i believe God who knows every human hearts sees & hears. Although imperfect and small...it's not the action, but deep within, God hears, even prayer of a little boy. And i trust Him who must love this boy more than I do. I just did my part and will continue to do so.. What joy was it that He granted me to see what my eyes long to see. Yet Lord, i long to see more. As if i thirst to thirst more, hunger to hunger more, and love to love more.

"Just so, I tell you, there is joy before the angels of God over one sinner who repents." - Luke 15 : 10

Posted by clay at 11:29 PM in Events, Heartfelt | Add a mold

September 27th, 2007

quiet grace

This week has been very trying. Maybe it's result of my prayer asking God that i care others more. And there're really others to care for. A few times at work when 2 people came one after the other, asking for help, and the next second the phone rang, while i was discussing something online....:|

Tonite i stayed out bit late and realised i missed the timing for the bus for this late hour (every 30 mins at this time). As i was walking to the bus stop, from far i saw something look like the bus ... never mind, hopefully i saw wrongly...
I came closer and checked the bus schedule. The bus is supposed to come 2 minutes ago. So, that's it...the bus left already. And i asked the guys standing there, whether the bus already passed. And he said, "Yes, it just passed". Hahahahaha.......that means i'll have to wait 30 mins for the next bus. Ok...it's better to take taxi and save 30 mins.

Just when i was waiting for taxi, suddenly the guy told me. "Hey look, that's the bus." I couldn't believe my eyes. But there in front of me was the bus i'm supposed to take.
Hahaha.....thank God
I don't know how. But it's there. So i took the bus and amazed how God works. Certainly he's wonderful sense of humor. He knows how to speak gently and refreshes the weary

In a way he calms me of the tense week. For there i was quieten down. That even what seems to be lost/missed, but certainly God's ways are beyond our understanding and calculation and even wisest plan. In a way it's a lesson of trust.

Posted by clay at 09:48 PM in Events | 1 see moldings

September 30th, 2007

silly girl and missing parents

This continued from last week sharing actually. Because i can't find suitable title yet, so decided to postpone it.

Continue from the little story.
I thought that this is good news to his parents that they should be told about this. I told the boy that I would like to speak to his parents. His father normally will send him for tuition, and will come back to attend 2nd service. So I asked if he could wait for me till I cleaned up the classroom and then we will see his father together.

Happily I tidied up the room to, and found out that the boy has gone after that. Yah ... i thot where have u gone boy. I could still probably caught up. So i rushed to the main areas where I could see almost everybody. It must not be very difficult to spot boy and his dad. Well, i couldn't find them and after staring there for awhile, thot that they've gone, and probably next week I'll have chance to speak with his parents.

Went up for the 2nd service. It's bit strange arrangement when people just passed-by my row, to fill up the fronts and the back rows, but my row was basically empty (only me with my 'ang-moh' friend sitting in the middle of the row and 1 couple at each ends of the row). I was joking to my friend that perhaps people don't like me, therefore everybody passed-by our row :p

Theré was a short break for people to greet one another. Obviously i greeted the persons in front and behind of me. Nobody was on my right / left. Then i saw one of the lady sat at the end of the row came approaching me. She extended her hand and shook my hand. She introduced herself as the boy's mother. And pointed to the man stood there as her husband; the boy's father. That's it. At that moment a silent joy broke out from my heart my heart. I told them it must be God's leading and will speak again after the service. I quickly told my friend...God is so good...

I had always wanted to meet the boy's parents. Today, the more i wanted to see his parents, and then i missed out the chance. But finally...beyond any mind could imagine....there the parents sitting at the end of the row...where nobody else wants to sit in that row. =)
And they knew me ... though i didn't know them and we haven't met yet in person. How could they possibly know me? How could they turn to me in the hall with so many people?
I thank God so much
And obviously...one lesson on trust.

==============================

Earlier part of the day... I asked a friend to come and visit the Sunday service. She agreed, and the arrengement for her to passby my place first before we go together. That morning, she called for direction, and i told her the usual way (for me), "by South Buona Vista road"....that's it. I thought i did a very great job, for it's shorter road, with good view of nature, and winding road that the only one in the whole singapore. Perfect..
Only later i realized, i forgot to tell her to turn left at the end of the road. Most drivers won't know my place....and most driver will take the right turn instead the left turn.

So yeah. I only hoped that she won't be so naive to simply follow what i just said. I hoped she would choose the more obvious road she's more familiar (the other day she used different road), instead following my 1 sentence instruction. I hoped, but deep within, I was afraid I know what kind person she is. :p

Few minutes passed, and they haven't come yet. So i tried to call her friend's number and her friend answered...that's it. She left already and returned the number back to her friend. :| I told her friend the mistake i made. I remember her not so encouraging words: "Trust God". Yea...so easy to say, and yet so difficult to do. There i learnt the difficulty of that simple words. Trust, isn't easy thing. So yah, I committed to the Lord and simply trusted (after i can't do anything else again).

Soon my phone rang...the anticipated news came that she's lost. Thank God at least I know she's lost and not too far. As expected, the driver turned right instead left. I scolded the taxi driver who missed the way and didn't know the right way. So yah...that's the early morning little drama. I thot trusting God is easy when in such simple thing i failed.
Thank God finally when soon the taxi came and she's safe. Couldn't speak for few minutes for allowing such mistakes and turned what supposed to be peaceful morning to such 'episode'.

Reminded me of few years ago incident of losing my sister, once at New York City Centre Park and once at Toronto's airport. God has been so good to me thus far.

Posted by clay at 10:56 PM in Events | Add a mold

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