2 days ago i met mitchie over a dinner function. Obviously i was greatly delighted to see him. For i didn't expect to see him there, and he's such lovely boy. He picked a small notebook from his pocket, and asked me to see that list of his games.

2 weeks ago when i saw him playing DS, i asked him what are the games he has. Simply interested with what kind of games nowdays children play. And never I realized he took it to such extent writing all his games to show to me...(about 30 games on 2 pages).

On my way home was thinking of that boy. He took joy on the things he could do / show me. While i took joy simply on him as lovely boy, simply on his being...and not on his actions. Of course his deeds are kind and heart-warming, nevertheless...his entire being to me is fascinating. I hope that he'd realize i take delight in him, regardless his gifts / deeds to please me. What a silly boy ... but loved.

And i thot it's perhaps true for me as well. I thot God is happy by what i've done for him. I've done this and that, and will continue to do this and that to keep him happy. What a silly silly boy! For God takes delight in me as person, and in all his people too.

For the LORD takes delight/pleasure in his people - Ps 149:4

What a silly boy. Thank you mitchie I will tell you about this next time we meet

Many are the sorrows of the wicked,
but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the LORD. - Ps 32 : 10

This time i'm trying to do something different. While i'm so used to write and share things have happened, i've been wanting :p to share or write something that's happening, especially when it's not pleasant. For i see within the Psalms ... songs being sung out of different seasons in live. Some are songs of joy, deliverance, confidence, peace, victory, yet some are songs of sorrow, sadness, lost, and among those...there're songs written in the midst of those experiences. May it echoes something fresh

Read it this morning the above psalm, and was puzzled. First read seems that it's too good to be true, and in reality may not always happened. Not sure how many sorrows the wicked has, and also if there're no sorrows for those who trusts in the Lord?

My simple encouragement is this. That we know the wicked has many sorrows (from God's point), and it doesnt say whether the righteous has many or little sorrows. I know i've known many sorrows as well :p. But this is what i know, that the steadfast love of God surrounds one who trusts in Him. Regardless whether he/she is sorrowful or has many sorrows. The steadfast love of God is guaranteed for those who trusts

Similarly with the previous words:
You are a hiding place for me;
you preserve me from trouble;
you surround me with shouts of deliverance. - Ps 32 : 7


Hiding place as Corrie Ten Boom wrote and experienced so real, doesn't mean free from trouble. But even, in the midst of trouble and affliction, or sufferings, there's a hiding place, preserves us, and surrounds us with shouts of deliverance. How is it possible? Those who've read her book will understand, and those who trusts the Word, they too shall see that it's true. For hiding place doesn't mean freedom from fear or disaster, rather an acknowledgement the presence of harm and perils, and yet there's place to hide/taking refuge, there's perseverance of something far precious than mortal body, and there's deliverance/freedom even through difficult times.

So i believe, and therefore i sing, a different song. A song of deliverance. A song of his steadfast love that surrounds me, even going through very intense fear as i'm writing this. )

Be glad in the LORD, and rejoice, O righteous,
and shout for joy, all you upright in heart! - Ps 32 : 11

The next day he saw Jesus coming toward him, and said, "Behold,the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world! - John 1 : 29

Many years ago (when i was very young), there's this popular slogan / teaching : "You're sons & daughters of God. God is King. Therefore you're sons & daughters of King. Because your Father is very rich, therefore for sure you are rich too.!!"

It sounded very logical at first. The argument is valid. What's the flaw? The first statement is right. The second statement also right. Can the conclusion be wrong?
It just sounded funny that time that i didn't buy it. However i couldn't find strong argument to prove it's wrong either.

I didn't know that i still kept it hehe... Perhaps it's true that i'm type that stores up things and waits for revenge :p

When i read John, i saw the flaw and the stupidity of that logic. For it's very clear that the same man; Jesus, that John the Baptist declared and testified as the Son of God,

And I have seen and have borne witness that this is the Son of God. - John 1 : 34

he also proclaimed as the Lamb of God; who takes away the sin of the world, through his death on the cross (too many cross references and proves to describe).

The Son of God is also the Lamb of God. The King's Son also became the Atonement Sacrifice. And through his Obedience that he's exalted and glorified and given name above all names!

If only that false teacher understood, the Son of God is not for him to gain the riches of the world (he's offered by the devil and he rejected), rather to gave his life as ransom for many. May he's gone together with his teachings!

thank You Lord for showing me my weakness
been a hard lesson
to be shown i was wrong
but thank You Lord for correcting me

i thought i know it well
i thought i listen well
but i just did so quick to judge
and correct things that seem wrong
withouth listening how does it come about

o that i may quick to listen
and slow to speak
as slow to conclude

and even at times when pressures are around
and my own business pressing from within
may my mind be calm
and heart sharp as to discern
every little voices and how the language being spoken
that i may not fail
to read those unseen words
being spoken in the midst of many disguises

grant me Lord a humility
to welcome anyone
without pretension or presupposition
but welcome them
as who they really are
in Your eyes

and trust that before this meeting happened
there Your hands were
and will continue so
that i might not take my own charge
and rewrite their stories on my own

helo me to see Lord
in our daily and small issues
there's your story and plan
overarch every single details
and join everything for your glory
may ur name be greatly praised
forever more

I don't think i'm qualified yet to use the above title. Surely my struggles and trials are much less and smaller than those who've gone through many 'hells' and survived. Comparing to their 'sharings' surely mine are nothing. However, I'd still like to write it here, as perhaps one of the smallests testimony of truth, and how i learned this from those heroes and giants before me.

I admire those men & women who lived by those words and understood the real meaning of it. When they speak, it carries the weight of one who's tasted and approved. Martin Luther, who went to such great extent as putting his life for his conviction, Corrie ten Boom that lived for her conviction and continued to labor till end of her life, John Bunyan who won't give up his belief and thrown into prison, at end produced one the greatest book in history, and many others.

One example that i hold dearly, is John Newton. I was told that even while he's preparing for a sermon. When a young child came and disturb him, instead of being angry and scolded the child. He became excited of what God wants to teach him through this child. He's excited of what God's intention on bringing this child to him. He didn't see that as inconvinience or distruction. But he sees as God wants to teach him a lesson. And he became excited.

So yah, if we believe behind a frowning providence, God hides a smiling face, we too will give thanks in all circumtances and built up in trust instead of grumbling and discontended. Which sometimes very hard for me. When the pain and trial increases and level of my comforts declining, soon i will start bringing up my complaints and charges. Like one of day (yesterday), when one junior came to me and told me a problem to be solved, and then another junior came after with different problem, followed by my boss asked me some questions, and a close friend asked me for advice, then next second my colleague faced a problem and looked for me (which sit next only), and split second my ex-teacher called and asked me to find a room to stay for 3 months in next 2 days!!! I've my own work to finish and all these people ..... I felt like bringing up my questions before God telling Him this is too much!! I might go insane if this happen everyday.

How then man like John Owen continued in his "ministries" with one his children died every 3 years (11 children)?

I brought a water of bottle as usual. As usual i placed it just besides the track. Only few rounds later, i noticed the bottle is no longer there. Haha...what a joke. Who's going to take a plastic water bottle on such big field? Except the old uncle who i suppose a cleaner thot it's a rubbish and decided to take and therefore keeping the field clean. Ok...just a short unhappiness that i've to buy another one, and wasting my time to get a new one.

Few more rounds, and i decided i need a drink. So went to the nearest shop. A young lady was there and she speaks in Chinese which i didn't understand full. My guessing she said it's not yet 9 am, so the stall is not opened yet. Ok nevermind.

I went further to stall that i think would open earlier than 9 am. Maybe because it's quite early in morning i didn't suspect the quietness. Almost all the stall still closed, and when i arrived at the canteen, everything is closed!!

I just realized then that today was public holiday Hari Raya.

Thank God there's 24/7 store and they opened So bought a water bottle as well as a chocolate.

Fast forward.....huge rain came. I've no money left to take a cab. And it's so quiet that i've not seen any cab passed by. I've lost track the time, but i know i should reach home quickly as meeting a friend in afternoon. Well, there seem only 1 option. I put on the plastic bag on my head...and thank God for the providence

I don't care too much on how funny i must have look like to people on the street (bright green and black short, with white plastic bag on head)...thanking God for His arrangement, if i've not lose the water bottle, maybe i won't have the plastic bag. Also for the rain i could train myself under such circumtances... Praise God.

The rain got heavier along the way. And the 30mins journey seems to me like forever. The road seems never end...and yah....i thot i've not appreciated home so much as then The home seems so great in the midst of heavy rain and unending road. How i wish home, dry cloth, hot chocolate milk, and nice shower, with great lunch I thank God for the run, the rain, and adding Spurgeon's comment....the thunder as my Father's vibration

"... I prayed to the LORD, saying: 'Ah, Lord GOD! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you ...' - Jer 32 : 16-17 -

It's a humbling lesson for me listening to Jeremiah's prayer. He started with description of the greatness of God. God who's so great and powerful. God who created heavens and earth. God who has proved in history of his great actions (saving Israel from Egypt with many miracelous signs). And God who settled the numerous people of Israel in the promised land. Surely then, in view of such power, nothing is too hard for God. Nothing.

Yet you, O Lord GOD, have said to me, "Buy the field for moneyand get witnesses"—though the city is given into the hands of the Chaldeans.'" - Jer 32 : 25

Now he's questioning whether God made a mistake. Did something slip into His mind? How can God said houses and fields and vineyards shall again be bought in this land (v.15), when before He also said that He's going to destroy the city? How could it be possible?

The word of the LORD came to Jeremiah: "Behold, I am the LORD,the God of all flesh.Is anything too hard for me? - Jer 32 : 26-27

There is a long answer from God (v.26-44), and He assured Jeremiah of His purpose. He never make mistake, and what seems impossible, it's possible, because there is nothing too hard for God.

It's a great reminder for me personally. Seems that i've sinked like Jeremiah. Although in my mind I know it, yet in my heart I may doubt it. The 100 questions: Could it be possible? Could this really possible? Can i do it? Did God make a mistake somewhere?. Yet the simple answer is God never changes. He did it in the past history. His words through Jeremiah came true. And what more proves do i need that nothing too difficult for Him?

I heard the rebuke...ye of little faith, why do u doubt?
No more Lord.

"Take heed to yourselves," because the tempter will make his first and sharpest onset upon you. If you will be the leaders against him, he will spare you no further than God restraineth him. He beareth you the greatest malice that are engaged to do him the greatest mischief. As he hateth Christ more than any of us, because he is the General of field, and the 'Captain of our salvation,' and doth more than all the world besides against the kingdom of darkness; so doth he note the leaders under him more than the common soldiers, on the like account, in the proportion.

He knows what a rout he may make among the rest, if the leaders fall before their eyes. He hath long tried that way of fighting,'neither with small nor great,' comparatively, but these; and of 'smiting the shepherds, that he may scatter the flock.' And so great has been his success this way, that he will follow it on as far as he is able.

Take heed, therefore, brethren, for the enemy hath a special eye upon you. You shall have his most subtle insinuations, and incessant solicitations, and violent assaults. As wise and learned as you are, take heed to yourselves lest he overwit you.

The devil is a greater scholar than you, and nimbles disputant; he can 'transform himself into an angel of light' to deceive. He will get within you and trip up your heels before you are aware; he will play the juggler with you undiscerned; and cheat you of your faith or innocency, and you shall not know that you have lost it; nay, he will make you believe it is multiplied or increased when it is lost.

You shall see neither hook nor line, much less the subtle angler himself, while he is offering you his bait. And his baits shall be so fitted to your temper and disposition, that he will be sure to find advantages within you, and make your own principles and inclinations to betray you; and whenever he ruineth you, he will make you the instrument of your own ruin.

Oh, what a conquest will he think he hath got, if he can make a minister lazy and unfaithful; if he can tempt a minister into covetousness or scandal!

He will glory against the church, and say, 'These are your holy preachers: you see what their preciseness is, and whither it will bring them.' He will glory against Jesus Christ Himself, and say, 'These are thy champions! I can make thy chiefest servants to abuse thee; I can make the stewards of they house unfaithful.'

If he did so insult against God upon a false surmise, and tell Him he could make Job to curse Him to His face (Job1:2), what would he do if he should indeed prevail aginst us? And at last he will insult as much over you that ever he could draw you to be false to your great trust, and to blemish your holy profession, and to do him so much service that was your enemy.

O do not so far gratify Satan; do not make him so much sport: suffer him not to use you as the Philistines did Samson-first to deprive you of your strength, and then to put out your eyes, and so to make you the matter of his triumph and derision."

~by Richard Baxter~

There're many things in the past weeks which trigger this thot. So it's quite hard to go through all the background details and arrive at the point without losing more than half of interested readers :p

But here some the traces:

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
- 1 Thes 5 : 16-18 -

The world classifies sin as big, medium, small, and perhaps insignificant. And often times, we buy the idea (thinking some sins are very serious and some others doesn't really matter), including which sins belong to which category. And unless one really look hard into the Bible, we will never think that idolatery is a very serious sin to God. And God's standard is even stricter than simply committing wrong thigs. For James writes:

So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin. - James 4 : 17 -

Hence, not doing the right thing / omitting right things to do, is also sin. With the above passage, to rejoice always, pray without ceasing, and giving thanks in everything, which clearly stated as the will of God ........ how far can one really go wrong in God's eyes?

It's Fri nite talk by Carson that hit me hard on my face (even now still finding it hard to swallow and yet sweet to my soul). He reads from Nehemiah 9 and then drew up application from it for both personal and corporate level. The theme is simple ones, which is repentance. And yet he explained in such powerful way that it's so clear that everyone is in such bad shape before righteous and good God. The righteousness and goodness of God shows the wickedness and terribleness of our sins....which affect all areas of our life without we notice most the time ... and therefore eluding the need for humblying ourselves in truthful repentance.

And if the recent months / year issues is love in the church. Do we take it so lightly? The exhortion to bring this matter in prayers are sounded insignificant to many. The prayers itself is not regarded serious. There are many more bigger and more fantastic things/projects/campaigns to think, to do and to focus on. And even more about the lack of love. What's the big deal? Lacking of visitors, lacking of man powers, lacking of helpers seem to be more urgent and bigger than the lack of love ....

Meanwhile verses after verses seem to suggest this lack of love is not the right direction to go ....

..., remembering before our God and Father your work of faith and labor of love and steadfastness of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ. - 1 Thes 1:2-3 -

Timothy has come to us from you, and has brought us the good news of your faith and love - 1 Thes 3:6 -

may the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all, as we do for you
- 1 Thes 3:12 -

Now concerning brotherly love you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another, for that indeed is what you are doing to all the brothers throughout Macedonia. But we urge you, brothers, to do this more and more,
- 1 Thes 4:8-10 -

and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves. - 1 Thes 5:13 -

Definitely it's not easy to love. It's a hard work, or as it's described above, it's a labor. Yet it's not an excuse to say no. For it's a sin by not doing it. A church without love? It's unthinkable. It's unbelieveable. Could it be because after 5-6 years, the first loving Thessalonians church has now become the unloving Corinthians church? Could it be because the years taking the affection and fondness away? It shouldn't be and it must not be.

As Nehemiah prayed in the beginning of the book (lesson learnt with tjel, cok, and abe), may individuals begin with taking the shame and guilt personally. Not blaming the others and escaping the wrongs. But obey the commands, without reservation, and ask, plead, and pray without ceasing ... God will work, and things will change. I am a part, and do have a role to play. I'd like to start with me first.