It's a very busy 2 weeks. With many new things and changes happening. But thank God for the many precious lessons. May He strengthen me... i pray...and that my sole hope. Unless He provide me with the strength...i don't think i could go on.

About ministry, thanks to penpen that reminds me of one liberating truth....God's work to be done in God's way. With the limitation of resources, it doesn't discourage me. When He brought in the people, my heart too is at rest, knowing that these are the people He entrusted to us. And when bypassers come and go, i too rest in peace, knowing that unless God brought them, they will not stay. And if they stay, no matter how rusty or inexperience they are...still God knows best and provides best.
I found it almost an insult that someone asked me how a ministry goes by how many people come in. What's the use of large crowd, when there're not enough people who serves? And what's the use of a well run program, if they don't have a God-led minister? I find it more encouraging if he asked me.....whether people helping? whether i myself walking in God's direction......i should be more concern about those things.......than how big the size. It's much easier for God to bring in anyone to join....or even they will come themselves if they see God's hands in this. How much more difficult (though nothing is too difficult for God)....the right people and humble servants.

Second thing that disturbed my mind this morning, about somebody's else remark about work. It\s true that good works must be done. A lot of good works. However, it raises a concern to me, if work is the only thing we use as measurement, neglecting a more important thing i think....which is prayer. I read once that prayer is the work, and the work is the result of praying. But that i receive impression, many put work as the main thing, and prayer to be seek to help of the work....mostly when we're at dead end.
i think penpen will agree with me......that i could do more on my knees than on my feet. Meaning that to put prayer as main thing, and human work as secondary......or at least equal. Having the right heart & mind......and doing things based on right understanding of God's heart & mind. For surely when we put work first, we will quickly resolve to human's mind ....how we run a business and company. While God's mind is totally revolutionary to our human's wisdom....and yet when we're given understanding, we'll see how wise and true is His ways.
So Lord, i seek u in prayers. Not seeking ur helps for my works in prayers :p

Bobi is a small cute chubby little duckie
With height abt 20cm and width 15 cm wide.
2 big eyes and 1 wide mouth.
Hehe...yah... after such long long times ......
now i have such sweet little bobi to play with
Thank you penpen for the gift
Bobi bobi bobi.....:D

The longest absence i had in my work......
Still feeling weak and tired.......
And overwhelemd by the numbers of things that I need to settle....
Sometimes i feel dreadful to look into the oustanding list
And start doing the things that i'm supposed to do......

Wish that i could be strong again...
And work fast enough to clear my to do list......

However, with this sickness i'm glad of few things ...
There's limit to human body....that certainly we're not created to do all things...
I still remember that on Sat i felt i could go swimming
And on Sunday i felt that i could go playing basketball
Only on Monday i down with bit fever and lying down on bed the whole day........
Still today Tuesday i'm not fit enough to have any exercise at all...

It certainly helps me to say 'No' without sense of embarassment or guilty feeling.......for the maker of me never intended for that. Otherwise, there's no such thing as rest, sickness, and tiredness. :p

Everyone have their fear and something which dread most. Something we wish would not happen. And there're days when we wish we don't have to go through those dreadful ordials.

today it happened to me
Something went wrong, and i couldn't find it. It's terrible for me to know that i don't know what went wrong.
At last after i found out......what a big relief.....:D

The dreadful the ordial, the greater is the relief...:D
And i really thank the Lord for such experience. To know how much He cares for me, and brought me through. For unless i went through those times, I won't appreciate the bigness of the delivery, as i won't feel much relieved.

Not only that, but as i'm dealing with numbers and electronic stuff, that many times i don't actually know what differences it will result between 0 and 1, not to say between 9999999 and 10000000. And 1 bit difference may cause big big troubles......
In fact, human body is far greater more complex than an electronic smart card....Not to say that if certain chemicals in my body goes down by 0.0001% or certain things triggers some reaction, or even some muscles slow enough by 1/999999 mili seconds......i would be in big big big trouble.
How much more than, I should give thank for up to this point, I'm still alive with all my organs function as they should and I could live well as any human beings........for there're more things could go wrong by even tinier percentage and higher probabilities. But God takes care of all those......up to 28 years?

And one small thing compares to the bigger one above, i left my thumbdrive ......and when i came back, it's still there....
thank you Lord

I've only known it as something abstract and theoritical. Till today i saw something very close and perhaps for the very first time, i understand its meaning ...(plain and simple).

This morning as i cast my eyes to the open green field. I saw pieces of metals just laying on the ground. I thought perhaps there'll be group later on using it for some kinds of games. The pieces of metal was arranged such to form Microsoft Word "table" or Excel "tables" of rows and columns.
However the cells are not really symetrical and equal in size...kept me wondering. In some way, the pieces didn't lay messily, on the other hand, it's not very structured also as best as i can visualize.....

1 hour later, i saw few guyz raising up the metals from the ground, like people raise up a dead body from the ground......
The first row, the second row, the third row, etc.......

Few minutes later, a form started to appear. By now it's quite clear to me. They are preparing a big shelter. The metals are the structure. And later they're going to put kind of covering on top of the metals.
The reason they layed down first and constructed the metal is it makes life much easier to assemble them first on the ground and only raise it later......than to assembly pieces of metal together at height.

Imagine those people have to connect metals and metals on the air.
It's much easier to do it on the ground and once they're connected, to raise a full ready structure.

Slowly their work took shape. They fastened the structures to the ground with big nails that driven with many hits using big hammer too. And somehow, the final product was perfect. Not too much to the left nor too much to the right. But it strike just at the center.

I was amazed. Each person seems know exactly what they're doing, and each person did specific thing. Who has taught them all these before? Such that they could repeat the things like manual and nobody told them what to do from point A-B-C, etc.

That's vision i think. Someone who first caught the whole picture. From pieces of metal, lied them on the ground, assembled them, then erected them up, and adjusted their position, fastened them to the ground....how many people were needed, what each will be doing, how long will it take......etc.......

I would never think of ..from pieces of metal to a big wonderful beautiful event that it could be for someone's wedding day....
Even those hard worker who sweat to nail down those big nails with many heavy blows...........they had their share of that big thing....

Only when they see what they're doing as part of the whole, will they see their works true worth

Like once a story of 3 laborers ......when they're asked what are they doing.
A: "I simply putting one stone on top of the other"
B: "I'm building a very large building"
C: "I'm building a large cathedral where many people will come to seek God"

It's something easier said than done. For anybody can say easily that God provides, but it's entirely different thing when you're in need and to take what just said at face value.

I think i will learn this lesson for a life time
And certainly though many times I've come across it, i'm still learning. Lately have been thinking a lot about this issue of God's providence. To be comforted with the history of Israel, 40 years in the desert, and they lack nothing. Their clothes didn't wear out, and they're fed with bread and meat everyday......Certainly, if God provided for 1 nation, for 40 years.....couldn't he provide for 1 family for 40 years?
To think that they asked how God going to feed the entire nation? And God did provide for them........for 40 years

How God is going to provide for me?
Certainly He's able.
And besides, i was also reminded through the famous prayer...
........."Give us today our daily bread"......
Jesus didn't teach us to ask for tomorrow's breads....
Ask for daily bread....
And certainly He'll provide, our daily bread

It's not his real name. But a name that i'd like to remember him. Today i realize that many things are not as they seem to be. It's true of people also. Sometimes we missed out a person's good side after he/she's gone or long forgotten. For when the person is still around, we see the bad sides and irritated even more.
And worse when the person is really gone. For we can't ask time to return. What has gone, is gone....time will not go back.

So here just a short writing dedicated for a man who taught me this lesson. He's a very unique person. When i say someone is very unique, he/she posseses certain behavior/attitude that stand out of the crowd.
He seems alone and hard to get a long with people. However, he's the first person who'll come to you and say 'hi'. He's also one of very active person who will bother to greet a stranger and welcome them. I've not met many such men, who's very good and easy at making strangers feel welcomed and comfortable.
He greeted my friend when many people ignored him.
He listened to another friend, when many people didn't bother what he's saying.
He might have problem of expressing his thought. But certainly, no doubt of his knowledge. If probably I could learn more by listening to him. And worse when some people might take that as arrogance/showing-pff.
In giving, i think he's a very generous person. Not many people lend out things nowdays.....and he's done so without i asked, and given so generously.........asking me whether i like the things instead when can i return back.
And on his seemingly 'weird' appearance, i wonder if behind that, there're things which i didn't know. That perhaps, some sad experience left a mark deep in his soul.

I pray, when I see him again, we could be good friends.

It's been very long time that i've not a one long walk in morning...
The effect is quite obvious...

Yesterday, feeling too tired and very sleepy, had an earlier sleep ... till the next day...
And as result, could enjoy the long walk and not rushing to office...
I enjoy the birds that sing, the sun beams that i almost could stop and count them, and the sweet people i met on the road...
I like morning, where the sky is blue, and i could see the greens before me...
And of course my mind full of praise also praying for the people whose names came into my mind...

It's been such a long time since the last morning walk.
Wish one day penpen could walk beside me. :p

Maybe it's hard to imagine for some people ... how does it feel to have a day out of a week to rest.
For me, i'm glad for the fact that i could have a day to rest after 6 working days. :D
I wish they too, could get a day to rest, after 6 long working days.