clay

It's at most unexpected place and time, but he did it again.

This morning as the weather not too hot, and my body also in need for some exercise, so i decided to go for a jog. And this week there're simply a lot of things with exams, paper, plannings, and even work itself have few concerns in my mind and heart.

Hence the question on last nite study and few days of thinking....really brought me down to the point that life is just dragging a heavy burden.

Nearing the end of my jog (on the road to FP...hehe), suddenly i thought that what a waste that i go out and return the same. I would miss the oppurtunity to enjoy the nature and the jog itself that i almost never fail to enjoy. SO i simply sang out my own tunes and song (i thought not bad...hehe), without i realized....it goes on, and i simply feel like being in presence of God. All my worry and troubles seem to cease, and on top of that, i gained insight into something really important that i don't think i could ever reach that insight myself. It must be God's given.

And all the way back, i simply worshipping Him and enjoying Him. That i know what it means to seek Him for His sake alone, and not for other things which He can and will do. There's a difference to seek Him to get something and to seek Him just for pleasure. When we seek Him for Him alone, as He promised, we will find Him...and He might even bestow gifts which we need. To me, it happened at unexpected time and place when I in fact not seeking him but rather some emotional release....of course been meditating on Paul's letter to Timothy on what he said that God himself will make it clear to Tim.

And i'm just curious, feeling in my heart that someone must have prayed for me. Else this kind of thing does not happen everyday (though it will be good to have it at least once a week..hehe). How much more valueable one day in presence of the Lord than thousand days in other place.

clay

I thank God for being patient with me. As I was preparing to teach about prayer, many things happened, and it sit back and ponder. He is not God in history, or of history, or out of history....but He is a present God. He who presented Himself to Abraham, Moses, Peter, also the same God who now presents Himself to me. As it's written, "I am who I am". He was, is, and is to come, God.

In the midst of all the constraints i'm facing, i can give thanks because only in this circumtances I could see ... things otherwise I could never see. The story of Jesus feeding the 5000 with 2 fishes and 5 loaves of bread....is it too hard for Him to provide for my 500 guests? He even provided meat and bread for one nation of 3 million Jews! I could share the feeling of Philip maybe, how to feed these people....we don't have money. Yet Jesus knows what he's to do. It is 8 month salaries to feed these crowd....yet He had already the answer. Again on the bread and butter issue, Jesus was the man who resists the temptation...he'd rather starve in hunger than fulfilled his own desire transforming stone to bread. At the end, man's life is not in abundance of his possession, nor in physical food he eats, but life in the feeding of God's Word....which transcend understanding.

I could say at the end, from the 500 guests to the 5000 men, He knows what He is doing. God is great.

clay

It's a unique one afternoon. After praying, I was compelled to follow this man in blue. I didn't respond immediately, and continue praying, thought this guy maybe some pastors who must have gone to restricted area that i can't follow. Then I noticed that now the man is walking towards me (his face was normal, nothing special or particular about this man). Yet i didn't move still, I was continuing to memorize what i just read then. So i just observed the man going to the back of the room, looking at large stack of old books....

Hence about time to go off, and I'm still puzzling whether I should just leave or give a second look to see what that earlier feeling nudge me about following this man. My curiosity won over me, so i went to the back, the man was no longer there...hmm, i thought maybe what the voice wanted me to look at the pile of old books? Like some secrets there? hehe....then again i remembered clearly, it's following the man, not the place he went or things he touched or things interests him.

So, i followed him (after distracted by an engraved dedicated to a man who had served for over 30 years, died at age 74, actually more for camoflauge that i didn't want to be seen too obvious following him)...braving myself to get out the place from the gate that is locked normally in these hours. What a rare chance i thought that I could go through that gate on this hour...maybe the man will scold me and ask me to go out from another entry? Yet he was too busy opening another small door, which will lead to the "high" place which i always wanted to go and see. 

Then this thought came to me, now i know who is this man. Apparently he's the one holding keys to the rooms. And following him will give me access to those rooms i can't go in by myself. It's the same thing with following God. He's holding all keys and only He has access to all doors and rooms. If i follow him, basically, i will have access to otherwise nobody can enter....So easy to be caught up with activities and things of interest, but if i want to have access, there's only one way...to follow him closely. Wherever he goes, the doors will be opened.

clay

Today, i made a new discovery about God.

And it's just a very very small progress (if can be called a progress)....

But i simply thankful, that i know Him little bit better

It's certainly left a deep impression on me, the phrase repeated in Exodus...."that you may know that I am the LORD your God". How much I don't know .. and how little I know ... that He is my God

clay

This morning as we're doing our devotion, this thing came to mind. How life of David and Saul such a big contrast.

At the end of 1 Samuel, Saul is pictured as a man who lost his strength

"Then Saul fell at once full length on the ground, filled with fear because of the words of Samuel. And there was no strength in him, for he had eaten nothing all day and all night." ~ 1 Sam 28 : 20 ~

... And insted recovering back his strength ... he lost it further, at point of return when he seek a medium which lead to his death at the end of 1 Samuel. 

David on the other hand, also lost his strength, in tragedy to find that his wives were kidnapped upon arriving home. And his entire town was burned with fire. 

"Then David and the people who were with him raised their voices and wept until they had no more strength to weep." ~ 1 Sam 30 : 4 ~

However, a very short verse describe the turning point for David, and the entire course..

"But David found strength in the LORD his God." ~ 1 Sam 30 : 6b ~

David found strength in the LORD, his God. I think that's the biggest lesson i learnt from all the dramas. One man seek strength by his own, and he never gain it back. The other man lost his strength and seek his God, and he found it there. It's so comforting to know that God alone is enough. Situation can be very bad (like this man David, he lost everything, even his people wanting to stone him ... ), yet somehow, unknown to human mind, God is able to give strength greater than the situation, to turn around the situation to victory. It's not David's greatness or cleverness or abilities ... but the LORD who gives strength. Seek Him.