clay

Yesterday morning as I'm on train for work, my eyes saw my hand that holding tightly to the hanging-handle.

The first thing that caught my eyes was the wedding ring.

And I remembered the woman who I married to.

Then I realized something...

The questions that I's asking ... 

Why is it so difficult to live as follower of Jesus?

Why is it so tiring?

Why is it so hard, the struggle to put to death what belongs to our sinful nature?

Why there're so few who're serious about their faith?

Why there're so many nominal faith?

I think, the answer is not very far from a wedding ring.

Because we've forgotten what's marriage.

We've forgotten that in marriage, the two becomes one. They're no longer two individuals. But one body.

And that truth really hit me hard then and now.

That I'm now married.

I can no longer do things that I like, whithout thinking of the consequences / implications to my wife.

(pause)

Come back to the faith thing.

We've forgotten that what Jesus' demands from us, is a marriage. It's not just to fling around like what the culture here lives out. Today we're together, tomorrow we're on our own ways. Even in marriages nowdays people see and do it that way. No wonder that faith and commitment also very shallow.

Now whenever I see my wedding ring, it reminds me of two things.

I am married. My life is no longer mine.

clay

Called mum just now, and brought back many heart-warming memories & lessons.

Just now even as I slowed down and reflecting on my attitude towards pen,

my heart grew softer and warmer. Appreciation started to bloom. Tender care and gentle touch, soft voice...

I think it's a bit of God's heart towards us.

Compassionate God, who feels for mankind, even in our pain and sufferings.

And then that I remember again the old well known stories of footprints

It's been quite long time since I appreciate it.

And tonite again I see how beautiful it's against the backdrops of all happened surround.

When we feel God has abandoned us, during the path that we think is the hardest.

That's when actually God is the nearest, showing His most compassion, bearing & holding us.

As prophet Jeremiah sang, "But this I call to mind, therefore I have hope: 'The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end...'". (Lam 3 : 21-22)

clay

Last sat, finally i had the long awaited chance to run again. While pen was still sleeping, i changed to running outfit and dashed into the place i found the week before. Then as usual, enjoying myself; like bird in the air ...

In 15 mins, suddenly the sky turn dark and the wind blew strongly. And i know that rain would be coming soon. A heavy downpour likely. Then, a 'mischieveous' thought came to mind. "Let me see if pen would worry about me, despite her sleeping in very nice weather." So i time myself, so that when the rain came, I would have arrive home.

Soon afterwards, the rain came and I caught some of it. So when arrived home, it's a happy feeling, then i slipped in quietly so not to wake pen. Then i heard she screamed calling my name. So i found her still in bed, half sleeping...but she concerns about her husband who's running outside when rained heavily.

There i know, that she really loves me

That's i think how God feels about in the parables of lost sheep, coin, and son. He feels the lost, because He really loves. 

clay

As it's written, "we are being transformed into His likeness" - (2 Cor 3:18). So do we physically as well in this present life. Without realizing it, couples who grow old together, growing to look alike also.

What's true of human's relationship, also true with our relationship with God.

The more we relate to Him, the deeper our relationship goes, we are growing to look like Him.

Isn't it beautiful?

We know that our relationship is growing when our appearance getting more alike...hehe...

clay

Finally.....a short time to make a come back, and continue blogging again

only given 3 minutes to write something here

1. Thank God for the wonderful wife He has given me.

    Still thanking Him this same point then and now

    Pen2x is getting more beautiful each day.

2. Thank God for the wonderful place for us to stay

    He's answered our prayers....near workplace and near to ARPC ...

    Has jogging track near here too

Ok done

clay

If indeed we thought we could outdo God in giving, that's absolutely misleading.

If indeed we thought there's end of God's faithfulness, that's totally shortsighted.

So i thought it's just one or two events in life ... where God's faithfulness is clearly seen.

And how wrong I was

Yesterday ... he placed sum of money in my account, just before my account deducted for monthly rental that obviously was not sufficient the day before. Was thinking to withdraw cash and placed in the account so that the transaction will not fail. But God provided in time

Moreover...there's extra..:D

Today, as i received a letter from my employer, and opened up the letter....

The extra amount that was added, exactly the same amount we gave for someone.

Still remember the nite, after hearing the talk ... and felt God wants us to be generous, we decided on the amount that looking back was a big sum for us. Even after i gave it, i was still thinking if i'd done like this before ... to give this amount so easily.

And today...i received back that amount...in ways that I could never dreamed before.

clay

It's been a long journey

As i recollected some of my past years memories...it's been quite a long journey to here.

I still remember the first time I left home, arrived at Cambridge....unfamiliar site.

Those days are always fresh in my mind... hope one day i could visit the sites again.

I still remember the NUS days...making new friends and getting to know new people

I still remember the fear of project deadlines & exams...those student years.

And then the anxiety of finding a job... going from one interview to another.

Hoping to hear some good news, and telling home that I'd found a job

I still remember those lonely years ... struggling with life and the harsh realities.

Well, it's been a long journey till today

Soon i'm getting married.

And all these will be history...and another new chapter of life.

How it would be? How it's gonna be look like?

Through all and all ... I am reassured once again.

Great is God's faithfullness.

And this old hymn voices out again beautifully the truth:

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

Refrain

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth

Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

clay

These few days, been sleeping late and my body growing weaker as result. There're many things to be done and been struggling to keep up with the time.

One thing I learnt in midst of these very trying times.

1. God is good. He knows my limits, and He makes sure everything allright at the end

It's only when i let go of my own rights, to obey Him on what He says (though they don't make sense or seems good for me), yet He's faithful to His words.

It's still very tiring days ahead. But i'm sure that He'll see me through. As the Psalmist puts it, when many the cares of my heart, your consolations cheer my soul. So God does not let me go even at my most trying circumtances

clay

Lately i've found new things to enjoy...to watch the animal planet

In the past i did not pay much attention to this animal world, but lately i began to appreciate the beauty and wisdom of God in this area ... how wonderful indeed And i can see animal so closely through TV ..hehe...

This evening, the program particularly interest me because about the mother eagle (was searching abt it yesterday but couldn't find anything helpful even in google). It struck me ... to see...how those powerful claws to kill and strong hooked beak to eat meat now turned to protect and care for the baby eagles. ... The same as i watched how tiger and crocodile mothers use their sharp teeth in handling their young ones. The same part that once used for attack and killing .... on another time used to protect and care... Such was the mother's instinct.

And was amazed how mothers brought up their youngs ... they know the timing, the methods ... when to feed and when to let them become independent. Teaching them step by step, showing them and then leave them to perfect their skills to survive and live on their own.

I'm just amazed how God design these animals ... 

Even as this afternoon looking at newborn baby So small and tiny

There's beauty in birth & life ... certainly i think because it's one of God's attribute and divine image. Creation & Life ... both His very first work.